policy is my passion, and yet actually i'm also a mother and i want to be at home for the last five years that my children are at home and it was hard for me to admit that to myself. but in the end i had to recognize both as a matter of need and want that my life was going to go in a different direction than i had always expected it would, and i had to listen to that and i had to in the end kind of say, wow, maybe i'm not quite the same person i thought i was, but i know this is the right thing for me to do. >> what was the most difficult part of your job in relation to balancing it with your role as a mother? >> it was just that sense so often where, you know, particularly my oldest son really needed me home, needed us both there, and i was in another place. and i could not do anything about that. you know, i think that is true for millions of parents and certainly millions of women, and i realized the stress was just overwhelming of knowing that i had a child who really did need me and i couldn't respond. i couldn't live up to that responsibility. >> after you came to your decisio